Thursday, April 10, 2008

164. "Nipping the Nerve" Mega Toothache and Dinner with the Young Lab at Beachside Cafe

I am at a Starbucks in Goleta (predictably), and I don't know how much I can crank out here. Why? Because of a toothache. An infection in an upper left molar, second from the back. Whatever number the dentists call it. This toothache is a humbling experience. Last night (at Jean's and Chuck's in Corona) I cried myself to sleep. I probably will have to cry to sleep tonight. Tomorrow night. Sunday night. Then Monday I might get a root canal. A medicated shot/injection at least to get rid of the bacterial [end fragment]

The consequence of working hard, getting into graduate school, is that you forget about the basics of your own health. Which I admitted to Dr. Young today. I signed the Statement of Intent to Register (SIR) form about two days ago and the next morning I slithered to the floor. All the pain in my body I had neglected for over two years came over me. Most prominently the infected molar. [end fragment]

I invented a song called nip the nerve / nip from the tooth to my mind to my microcosmic world [end fragment] I guess I would be pretty desperate person to create a song about teeth and pain.

The pain is so strong, it overpowers any form of rational thought so my cerebral cortex ordering my pain sensors to shut up and of course my primitive brain doesn't listen... what xssholes. I am just cussing at the insides of myself. [end fragment]

Couldn't pain be so great that your brain shuts off itself from the pain so you can co-exist... Like that whole morphine effect? [end fragment]

First dinner party at the Beach Cafe. Whole Oran Young lab. Very cool. Dr. Young has returned.
Alexios said he saw my blog. He smiled. What the hxll did I say? [end fragment] I was quiet. I hadn't jogged. I was a wreck. Super fast drive from Riverside. Hadn't talked to Dr. Young before. Will talk to him tomorrow. Friday. Julie Robinson shot some footage for Blue Planet with her Sony DVX 2000. Wow. That is cool. So I guess my camera is legit. Every image for Blue Planet and Planet Earth are like photographs. I like behind the scenes stuff with the camera crew. The true jarring elements of film-making. Sat next to Dr. Young. Was in pain from tooth ache. Almost made me late. Since then emailed Dr. Young about universal scaling laws in biology applying size and scale to reasoning in ecological systems. Whether this could be quantified in terms of biomass and energetics, all the better. [end fragment]

Dr. Freudenberg. Psychology of Size. Altered human behavior given the size of a group or a system. People care about each other in a tribal group and let a dead man lay in the street in a city for a couple of days. Alexios research. Idea of voluntary simplicity. Downsize. I made a poem about that. Dxmmit. People's values and perceptions change with group size. Voluntary simplicity. Technological coat. Technological coat we carry around with us. What do we truly need. What we truly don't need? [end fragment]

I was quiet for the dinner. The whole irony being at Goleta Beach. Both Alexios and I shared some degree of awkwardness. I thought it was most appropriate to listen because I am new and need to "learn the ropes" and start mapping personalities and histories of lab members. [end fragment] I think Dr. Freudenberg is left-handed. I recently saw Alexios presentation / Goleta Beach film for the MFA presentation with Lauren. Very cool. [end fragment]. Tomorrow "oil" what does that mean?

I was quiet. I am new. I need to listen to people. First step with any human beings is observation. Then once you start to learn how to push people's buttons, then it becomes manipulation. You just have to be very selective about what types of buttons you want to push on what types of people. Most importantly, people that can help you with a future career. People that come to mind automatically are Steve Gaines, Oran Young, John Melack, and Nancy Kawalek. I need some real psychologists on my side.

Lectures seem to have some level of organization to them. But dinners are just fragments of information bits you pick up here and there that are important in the context of your own mind's oak tree of knowledge. I told a friend of mine that his mind was like an oak tree. It branches and everything has its place. And everything builds. And he keeps it all in his head. Just like my dad. And I just trail you around like some scavenger secretary, picking up all these trails of beautiful ideas and writing them down myself, giving you credit for them.

At one point he said that it's the "same old people" at the dinner table, he wanted to leave. Not very nice. Hmmm. Surrounded by girls. Outnumbered. Hmmm.

Maria Gordon was very clever and jovial and full of jokes during that evening. I was a bit off. I really was off actually. The tooth ache put me in a bad position. I shouldn't have mentioned tooth ache to anyone. Bringing my personal life in this. [fragmented]

I ended up jogging later on. It was nice. Very cool to have such a dinner. Oran was off on sebbatical all over the world. He's working on multiple international treaties.

We have our "labels" for everyone. I was labeled as "environmental media" with "environmental communications slant." Then I said that I was "environmental media as a cop out to do environmental philosophy." He he he. And Julie Ekstrom, my housemate, said that was more like it. Dead on. He he he. Alexios is voluntary simplicity. Pria is science-policy. Sarah is water. Sarah is out with this guy Charlie I met through Craigslist. He caught me in the ultimate low point of my life. He's nice, but uh... just as a friend. Julie is ocean. Or more controversially ocean mnagement. Maria Gordon is "generalist." I want to be a generalist too! Victoria would love to have "scaling laws" tagged with her systems of study. Scale-based reasoning as use.

Also met Dr. Young's wife. She seems very nice. Very cool. I heard they live out by Mission Canyon. Nice area to live. Dr. Young is a real trooper. He rides his bike to school sometimes!

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