Cut it off / Caving in / Idee Fixe / Spread too thin. Page 2.
PDF to the poem found here: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/cutitoffcavinginideefixespreadtoothi.pdf.
Well, I have been blasted with information this weekend. My mind drifted into a poem that I wrote back in early 2005, or so I think... during my first year leave of absence.... The poem discusses several themes: (1) information flow (volume) and information management (2) mental management, mental processing (3) mental metabolism and the digestion/processing of ideas (4) the university as an unhealthy information overload atmosphere (5) mental carrying capacity in terms of information input and processing, then brain shuts off or engages in selective conscious input (6) control of mental health through psychological labeling and pill popping, or change of behavior and change of environment (which is what I will be posing and advertising as a Disabilities Student with "anxiety disorder"). It was so ironic that the representative at the Disabilities Office recommended that I not be enrolled in the program because--despite the program's effort to keep information confidential, there is a tendency for this kind of information to be distributed around the gossip mill of departments. I told Mary (I think that was her name) all the better if people gossip, because this is actually a good part of my Ph.D--this whole notion of unhealthy human-environmental constructs. And I am just another victim of it. Like right now, I have to lock myself in my room for a while and write all the shxt out of my head before I can calm down! So, I get free advertisement. I seriously don't have high anxiety disorder 100% of the time. I only have anxiety disorder given that I am placed in a certain environment (like a university campus) for extended periods of time. Then I get fried. Same like ADHD. It's selective. Primarily after eating too many brownies and not jogging enough. Same with obsessive-compulsive disorder. When I am too isolated and regimented in my thoughts. It's all about phasing in and phasing out with mental thought patterns.
This adjustment of my own mind from one thought pattern to another also mirrors the diverse thought patterns of stakeholders of a system with common environmental resources. Are people fixated and tunneled onto one or two ideas or visions or values? Or are people prismatic and multi-factorial in their thinking? To what degree are they an obsessive-compulsive, narrow hedgehog? To what degree are they controlled-ADHD, curious foxes?
It's also related to time demands and information management as well. People who have crazy time deadlines tend to think more linear. People with more free time to think are more so non-linear in their reasoning (but hopefully not information saturated!). That is the problem with being an open-minded person. One can become supersaturated with information quite swiftly.
No wonder why I have electronocommunicatiphobia (ECP)!