Wednesday, November 05, 2008

345. You Are Who You Vote (in Part): Obama Wins, Cell Phone Malfunctions, Softball Canceled, What Does it All Mean?

Obama Wins (my friend Lauri notified me through text). My cell phone malfunctions (it malfunctioned all day) and I ended up attempting to attend a softball game that was already canceled because the fields were flooded (it rained yesterday). I am receiving simultaneously conflicting and confusing stimuli and I don't know how to process it except: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Well, for this country, there is sincere hope. Based on the demographics of voting, it seems like Dumbfxckistan continues to exist in the heart of the country and the Progressive-minded people seem to live along the coastal states. Except Dumbfxckistan shrunk in size this year. Hmmm. There is hope in the people. They can get desperate. They can see the light in dire times. Perhaps Hurricane Katrina, Inconvenient Truth, and all these other efforts really churned inside of people's consciousness. Natural disasters make us realize that underneath all this laissez-faire mentality, there needs to be a socialist baseline for operating a country, eh? Today, I do admit, I am proud to be an American. Yesterday, I admitted to myself too that I was proud to be an American. And I wonder what I will see when I look into people's eyes. I hypothesize an gleam of hope.

As for my Cell Phone Fiasco, I hope I did not majorly piss off some people with some absurdly bizarro phone tag and missed emails and phone calls and whatnot. I feel horrible. Technology is a love-hate relationship and yesterday it brinked an ultimate LOW of disaster. Technological malfunctions can disrupt interactions with humans... like all those T-mobile commercials where your cell phone goes *blip* right when you are ready to propose marriage to someone or are about to tell the punchline of a joke.

I don't know what are the exact consequences for partially portraying my vote in the public, but since I am one insignificant human life in the infinitely expanding cosmos, I decided to reveal myself and my inner thoughts about the conditions of human society.

There are about three or four votes I felt quite confident about, and the other things I voted for... or even left blank, I didn't feel educated enough to make a say, and that I feel like with each proposition I am only told part of the story. I don't understand how the proposition fits in the big picture. An idea like "giving money to children's hospitals" sounds like an enticing "poo poo boo hoo" proposition, which any sympathetic parent in the universe could fall victim to on first sight. But when you read the fine print, only a few parties were benefiting from the measure. And I was like, "Wait a second. Don't we have enough money getting pumped into children's hospitals? Why don't we have money getting pumped into ADULT hospitals?" That's discriminating. Then I thought about the hospital conditions my grandfather went through, that was in part government funded (I am sure). But you can pump all the money into a society for infrastructure, even all the money in the world couldn't buy a heart and a sense of care and emotion. No one really gave a shxt about my grandfather in the hospital and nursing home. My grandfather became sick from the hospital conditions itself: a ridiculous law that figuratively "chained" him to bed all week combined with unhealthy food. My family came to the rescue and we had to keep the nurses in check. The same thing with films: you can have all the fancy technology in the world to make a film, but if you don't have a human mind behind it to put the pieces together to make a story, then there's no point. I know a few people who own over 10,000 dollars in film equipment and just let it rot in the garage.

Back to the Children Hospital Bullshxt, that was such an Evolutionary Brainwashing Proposition. So, having said that. There are surface-value judgments, and then there are people like me who don't feel satisfied about voting something unless (1) I have the entire budget in front of me, and (2) I know who were the loud-mouthes with lots of money who got this measure on the ballot in the first place. I didn't have that information, I didn't feel good about voting, because it's non-contextual.

That's what I want to see, the ENTIRE GOVERNMENT BUDGET, and HOW MONEY IS BEING ALLOCATED to each sector of society. I wonder where I can find that. Ultimately the budget reflects how the government intregrates and values the structure and function of the "organ systems" of society.

1 comment:

Victoria said...

I keep saying I will write a story about how my life changed when Obama got into office. I pick up all these little things in my daily life. How my way of thinking and perception of reality has changed.

For example, today, I thought about, after he was inaugurated, what if every single morning, everyone thought in their heads, "What is Obama going to do today?" followed by "How can I be involved?" And there was a shine of hope in my eyes that told me that I should stand for what I believe in. Obama is a symbol for this country and deserves to be a symbol. Hence my whole "Hope" character I am creating in my writing right now. (Whole movement of voluntary positivism in collective coordination).

Some other key epiphanies. I was at the Vons and couldn't help noticing how Obama was front cover of Men's Health. We have a celebrity president!

At the kmart, they have all these "I am princess" t-shirts, and now we can add the line underneath, "And this is our kingdom."

Another epiphany I had is that morning I noticed the cool air sink into my hot, stuffy room and I woke up--and a fog, a heaviness lifted from my head. Obama's in. Bush is out. Like there's this whole collective psychological gloom in our heads. It's been so 8 years, I had become so desensitized that I only acknowledged the heavy weight once it lifted. That morning, I jogged, and I said hello to at least 3-5 people and they all said hello back--in their own unique, occasionally retroactive mannerisms. It was the first time in 8 years, I could look at any random person in the eye and say, "Yes! Yes! I did it! We did it!" I felt connected to everyone on the street.

When I talk about Obama, I usually begin as "It all started when my cell phone violently died before Obama was elected. And then I was stranded, alone, in an abandoned, soggy softball field. And amidst all confusion and chaos... a light emerged the next morning."