Friday, January 16, 2009

375. Today is October 15 or 16, 2005 of My Writer Life (Bonus Three Poems!)

Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 1.
Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 2.

Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 3.

PDF file for Writer Life:
Additional commentary of thoughts below:
0. Ever since I applied to the AAAS Mass Media Fellowship, I feel that I have acquired heightened consciousness and that my writing has improved... to some degree.
1.In the Questioning of Reality, my profession is to extract the best out of everybody and everything, and discard all things that are negative and broken, saving them for another day for a deeper transformation into light.

2. I need to wake up every single day and see something new. Even if I have to work hard and write to see it. Even if it takes blood and sweat and tears from connecting fragmented neurons of the deep… for me to see it. For me to see something new….

3. The only person who can change me is my own self.

4. The more I learn about the environment and interactions with the environment, the more I learn about the innerworkings of my own mind.

5. To Know More? To Know Less? But don’t Know Too Much, for I have learned in several occasions it leads Down the Road to Disappointment.

6. I just wrote “Fruiel” out of me (fake name for protection). I am no longer in pain…. The experiences are in me; the person is out of me. If you know what I mean. It’s a very writerly psychological trick.

7. It’s amazing to think I have been through so much torment the last three years and to only think that I have only consciously received two gray hairs is close to biologically daunting!

8. The best part about October 15, 2005 is that you will never know the future. You will never know the consequences of your own actions. Nothing is predictable. It’s blank slate all over again, carving a road, and living twice. Seeing new elements of your environment you have never seen before… every single day is a brand new adventure of altered inner perception.

9. When you don’t consider the outcome of the future, you stop thinking about “what is the next big break” of external forces. But you think about the internal forces; you think about and tend to the community of people who have come to accept and love you… and have made a home for you. You are tending to them through your writing. The rest of “greatness” is an illusion; it’s a fun game to pursue, but meaningless beyond your own very close intellectual kin… except perhaps, to greet new members of your intimate audience. In the end of the day, all you do is care about the people who care about you.

10. My aunt Jeri Lyn thoughtfully said over Christmas, “To be an artist, you must be bold and brave to be alone. To venture into the vulnerable reaches of your seemingly tough, yet fragile mind. To sort out the deep-rooted tangles. I have Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax by my side. A children’s book that changed the world. If he can dig through himself, then so can I!

11. It’s all about the deeper motives… the deeper motives in your own hands. It’s not about the Biologically Incorrect Blog. It’s about the Lulu.

So I met those two lovers
Of intellectual potpourri
They had great big bowers
Colored, playful rivalry

Certified geniuses
All stood back and stared and gawked
Their teasing thoughts meaningless
Rehashing what is for what it ought—

To be changed.

The sincerity of problems
Of our day.

Oh so silly!

The Sanctified Science of Potpourri!
Society exalts Egoes Of Arbitrary
To pseudo-subgod Higher Beings

For the Intellectual Entertainment
Of the Long Hours of Tonight
Just to relish and forget
In the long, long minutes
Of long lines

Of stores distracting
With groceries.


If the world were less populated,
I would be easily satisfied with
The pre-existing protocols of biology—
Forage for a male and give birth to new human flesh—
The usual mindless routine of evolution.

But the world is not that way today,
And there is pressing value
For the birth of New Ideas
As opposed to the birth of empty-minded human biomass,
To which merely serves as a draining resource
Than a bountiful agent of thoughtful change.

And though evolution guides my thoughts toward
The Commonplace of Ingrained Biological Institutions,
My Ecological Rationality Trumps the Reptile
And it manipulates that lizard in me
Towards its very own goals….

In hope of finding all those
Who do and share and pursue the same.
14. Poem called LANDSCAPE'S COAT
So we were wearing similar coats
and it got too hot, it got too close.
Now we have our own landscape attire
Now what is our true, underlying desire?
In a stretched time lapse
Allo-pamatric romance
In space-time collapse
The pained study relapses
And Case Closed
Opens Again
Resuming Trial 2
Of the Experiment.
Will it end
In the same

1 comment:

Victoria said...

In this situation, I will change the title called "Trumping the Reptile." (not Ecological Rationality / Evolutionary Primality). It's essentially the bargaining of my mind in underlying motives.

My cousin calls kids as "rat bastards" to convince himself not to have any. Go figure. I do the same. Expecting another family member to do so, and I will help out. Kids are like pets. You take care of them whenever you feel like it. Snuff out any bad habits in the beginning. Otherwise they will exponentially spread out. Blah!